England, huh? Really beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah, those Engs must be lucky people,
look at all those trees down there. Xev's gonna love this.
Xev is dead.
Vlad killed her.
Yes, I kno...
Yes I know Xev is dead,
but Uther said the other druids, the ones at the feast of Mograth
will bring her back to life.
OK, look, I know you think it's crazy,
but we gotta give it a shot.
You know, sometimes I don't understand you Kai.
Xev is our friend,
and sometimes friends are all you got.
Look, Vlad was seconds away from killing you up there
and I saved your life, that's what friends do.
You did not save my life.
I am dead, and Xev is now also dead.
Look, if there's the slightest chance
that we can save her we gotta take it, OK?
There is no need to cover her ears.
She cannot hear us.
Just fly, OK?
This doesn't look right. Where are we?
We are approaching our destination.
I think you took a wrong turn.
These are the co-ordinates.
Are you sure you know where you're going?
Yes.
Yeah, well I'm gonna call 790.
790?
- 790. - Yes, my scrumptious bundle of corpse?
Respond to Stanley.
I would rather not.
It would be helpful to me.
Very well, I will listen to him -
but I'll be thinking of you.
What is it, worm face?
790, I think we're lost.
You, Stanley Tweedle, are always lost.
You are an anal wart in a universe of beauty spots.
Uther described the feast as taking place in a forest called Glastonbury.
We seem to be heading into densely populated urban centre.
And there are trees in a forest, right?
Kai, you are right as always, and right for me -
but I gave you new co-ordinates.
I found out that the feast has been moved this year
due to an airborne cattle disease
in the countryside called foot-and-mouth -
although the only airborne disease
I'm aware of right now is called Stanley the Tweedle.
So what is our destination?
A city called London.
Thank you, 790.
Lexx 4-11 A Midsummer Nightmare. - Whoa, whoa, whoa - just a minute!
Lexx 4-11 A Midsummer Nightmare. - And just where do you think you're going?
Er, feast, Mograth, it's here, right?
No, it's the bloody 4th of July!
Of course it's the feast of Morgath,
and why are you dressed like this?
You're not the Mincefields -
these aren't the Mincefields, are they Marjorie?
They most certainly are not, Colin.
In which case, you have to pay to get in.
And, you have to be properly registered card
carrying dues paid members of the British Druids Association,
which is not part of the Celtic League,
or in anyway associated with
the so-called International Federation of Real Druids.
Look, that's all very interesting,
OK, but we don't have to be members of anything,
because Uther sent us.
Could it be?
- Time will tell. - Uther?
Never heard of him.
Well, sure you have, he did that song,
er, er, er - what's it called, Kai?
It's Magic Magic Baby.
What, you mean Nigel Bunson?
Where is nutty Nigel this year,
what's happened to barmy Bunson then?
Well, er, he's dead actually.
- Vlad killed him. - Oh.
Oh. What a terrible loss
for skiffle lovers everywhere.
So, you're the ones Nigel says
he's been searching for all these years eh?
Well I think he could've done a little bit better.
I mean, your Dark Man's
about as menacing as a fluffy little squirrel.
Your Dead One is the least convincing corpse I've ever seen -
I mean, where's the blood, where are the black eyes?
And as for you - yes, I do admit
that you do make quite a convincing Fool.
Nonetheless -
And just what is that?
I was an assassin of the Divine Order.
This is the weapon I usually use to kill people.
No, no, hold on.
It states very clearly in the Druidic Code,
paragraph 86, section 16a -
Druids may not carry weapons.
You are permitted a small knife -
blade no longer than 1.6 inches -
for herb gathering purposes only.
I'm going to take your cards back, people -
if you have cards.
Let them in.
Oh my god - you're him.
You're Tarquin Falstaff.
I've seen you on Cults of England.
You're the renegade druid!
- I know not of whom you speak. - Yes, yes, yes - you,
and their Uther -
Let them in.
Yes. Fine.
Hey, thanks for helping us out.
Don't drink the mead, Red Fool.
Thee neither, Dark Man.
I think he likes you, Fool.
If you're not Tarquin Falstaff, who are you?
Mead delivery.
Did you hear them talk of Uther of Glastonbury's death?
Yes, tragedy, he served us well.
- Us? - By us, I mean
- of course you, my queen. - Queen?!
- King, I said king! - I want to see! I want to see!
- The Chosen One. - You cannot.
You must remain in the sack.
I don't want to.
It's dark and smelly in here.
She never was much good in the sack.
Very good, my queen - no, king!
I don't know what I'm doing.
It's so terrible,
and I'm so stupid,
I can't even stand up!
Thank you, Mister Dark Man.
Your thanks are worthless to me,
because I have no soul at all.
I am a walking hollow shell of a man,
waiting to be filled with joy and worship.
Duh - you also have a silly haircut.
Silly silly silly silly!
What a dumb show.
Who's that red guy supposed to be anyway?
- Excuse me. - Yes?
Can I be your lusting partner?
What's a, what's a lusting partner?
You get to spend the day lusting over me.
Then I latch onto a Dark Man for the rest of the evening
and I lust after him, ignoring you forevermore -
the way it's supposed to be.
Er, no, actually I already have a lusting partner.
Oh well. Guess I'm too late.
Happy feast.
Hello everybody, thank...
Hello everybody, thank you.
If you could all don your hoods please,
that's it, thank you.
Hello. I'm Colin,
Colin Hamilton-Smythe. Good to meet you.
I will be conducting proceedings today,
telling you what to do and when, all that kind of thing, OK.
First, a little history -
what are we doing here? Well,
the feast of Morgath, or Mograth
as it is sometimes known, is, as we understand it,
the ancient druidic feast
that celebrates the wedding
of the king of the forest.
We hold the feast every year,
but believe that once every 1,500 years
is a special feast,
in which the king of the forest marries a new bride,
that we Druids present to him
in a ceremony blessed with magic.
The oral tradition of our Druid forefathers
tells us that the next bride
to be presented to the king
will be known as -
the Dead One.
And she will be accompanied by
the Red Fool,
and the Dark Man.
And, after careful selection
from one of our largest ever fields of contestants,
the College of Grand Druids are proud to present
this year's Dead One,
Red Fool and Dark Man.
The Mincefield family!
OK everybody -
let's hope that this is the year for some real magic.
A toast!
To the Red Fool,
and the Dark Man,
and the king's bride to be -
the lucky, lucky Dead One.
Are all the cups filled?
Even the children's?
- OK, this is the - Remember - don't drink it.
start of an amazing night.
Charge your glasses.
Oh feast of Morgath -
may magic appear to us this eve
and feast with us once more.
- Cheers, everybody! - Cheers.
Now the fun begins.
Hmm. Impressive.
A truly thoroughbred fool.
I told you, not to drink the mead.
What's mead?
What's going on here? Who are you guys?
I am the reason this feast happens at all.
It's arranged in my honour.
- You're Mograth? - No.
- You're Mograth? - No. There is no Mograth.
They merely started calling me that twelve centuries ago,
we're not sure why.
So who, what are you?
This -
is Oberon,
king of the fairies,
your master.
I -
well,
I am Puck.
The king's hmm
manservant.
- What was that? - What was what?
The king's, hmm, manservant.
Just a little cough, my king. An innocent little cough.
Let me out!
- Let me out! - No! Dark Man, no.
What did you stop him for, idiot?
I'm sorry my king,
it's only a matter of hours before you're finally free.
Free from what?
I can't wait either.
I want to find myself a real man.
My soon-to-be ex-wife, Titania.
Oh - what a foxy Dark Man.
He's the best I've ever seen.
Look, I don't know what the hell is going on here,
but we were sent by Uther -
de Glastonbury, my most trusted knight.
He searched the Earth for you.
Never has a man responded so valiantly to his calling.
He told us that there was somebody here who could raise the dead.
Well, he hasn't made the dead rise for me in nigh on two centuries,
- if you know what I mean. - Silence, woman!
That is correct, Red Fool.
I am entrusted with that ability from time to time.
Take me to your Dead One.
Well -
isn't she something special?
Kindest of faces.
Softest of skin. Hmm.
There -
done.
Kai!
Oh, Xev. Xev, you're alive.
I thought we'd lost -
oh, we're so glad you're back!
Where are we?
We're on the Earth, at Uther's feast.
Uther -
he was killed by Vlad.
Vlad is no more.
Stanley killed her.
After she
killed me.
Yes.
You were dead.
We brought you here to bring you back to life.
We? Hey, less of the "we" stuff, OK?
Kai was gonna give up on you, but not captain Stan.
Thanks.
I'm glad to see you both.
What a touching, beautiful scene.
I actually think I'm going to cry.
Now listen, we gotta thank you guys,
we don't know what we woulda done without you,
and we really appreciate it, but we got Xev back now,
- and so we're just gonna go. - Your gratitude is unnecessary.
You have nothing, and you are going nowhere.
- Huh? - The one you call Xev
shall be my bride tonight.
Kinda greedy in the wife department there, aren't you pal?
You got a bearded one over there.
She is my replacement.
Pipe down, whore!
And you, Dark Man,
will join my chorus
and rejoice in me eternally.
The dead do not rejoice.
We shall see.
And what shall we do with the little Red Fool?
Perhaps he will be my lap dog
for fifteen hundred years.
This is a type 13 planet in the final stage of its cycle.
It does not have fifteen years left, let alone fifteen hundred.
We will leave this place.
You will do exactly as I tell you to do, Dark Man.
You belong to me now.
If you do not allow us to pass, I will kill you.
Really? Kill, you say?
I'm intrigued.
Are you intrigued, Puck?
Fascinated, my king.
Well - let's see what you've got, Dark Man.
I will not allow you to pass.
Oh, little sweetie,
and what's your name?
Little Tweetie!
What do you think, Little Tweetie?
Do you think I should let the Dark Man
and his friends escape
even after they tried to kill me,
which wasn't very nice now, was it?
What's that you say?
Well,
since you asked so very nicely,
I suppose I will.
I will give you until the sands of time
run dry to leave my forest,
or else serve me forever
in my kingdom.
Is that fair, Puck?
More than fair, my king.
More than fair.
You're free to go.
Boy, the trees in England sure grow fast.
Kai, Kai, sing with us!
Kai, Kai, sing with us,
join us in our song.
Trees do not normally do that, do they?
No, and that's not all they don't normally do.
Kai, Kai, sing with us,
- join us in our song. - Kai, you're dancing.
I am aware of that. I seem to enjoy it.
The dead do not enjoy dancing.
Under normal circumstances I would agree with you.
Kai!
It's Oberon.
Kai, Kai, sing with us,
join us in our song.
What have you done to Kai?
He is fulfilling his destiny.
He has joined my chorus,
as every dark man must.
His empty black soul
has been filled with the purest of love and joy -
for me.
Set him free - now.
You can be a bit more persuasive then that, Dead One.
I'm not dead anymore.
Only because I choose for you not to be so.
790? 790, can you hear me?
Hello sir, can I help you?
Oh, thank you thank you thank you!
Listen, my name is Stanley H Tweedle,
I'm captain of the Lexx, OK?
Now there's some guy named Oberon
calling himself king of the fairies
has taken us prisoner in some woods, OK?
Now somebody's gotta come and rescue us
because Kai's out there, he's dancing with some singing trees,
and they're gonna make me into some kind of a dog,
and they're gonna make Xev marry Oberon.
Well, that doesn't sound so bad to me.
What, are you crazy?!
No, the sooner Xev marries Oberon the better.
Then I no longer have to put up with his stupid pigging face any longer.
Oh, shut up, wench!
You're no flaming oil painting.
Imagine, waking up every morning
for 1500 years to that hairy yak.
- Drunk old clown! - Of course I'm a drunk,
I've been married to you for fifteen centuries,
it's enough to turn anybody to drink!
Poor petal - you must be petrified.
- Why? - Well, you're about to wed this
beast of a man.
I will not marry you.
Insolence!
Temper, temper, my - king.
Think of the meadow.
Think of the meadow, of all the little
bunny rabbits.
Remember the bunny rabbits?
I like bunny rabbits.
I like them a lot more than I like her.
They don't like you. They told me so.
You don't speak bunny.
I took classes.
There's lots of things about me you don't know,
- and you never will. - Good. I don't want to either.
- Fine! - Great!
- Perfect! - My highnesses,
we are so close to the time of parting,
could we please not just get on?
Good.
Now -
I shall prepare the bride for her duties.
King of the fairies.
No-one believes in fairies any longer.
A fine job you're doing.
I will not marry that man!
You don't have a choice.
The best thing you can do is just go along with it.
- What if I don't? - He will make your friends suffer -
and he'll make you suffer too.
I won't do it.
You know, it really isn't all that bad.
- Now... it's... good. - You are never was, you'll know...
How do you know? Have you been a queen?
Chance would be a fine thing!
Why me? I mean, what does he want with me?
I'm hardly like Titania at all.
- You're the chosen one. - Oh, great.
You, are a fat, smelly,
hairy, ugly, ungrateful,
worthless, boring, clumsy,
pathetic excuse for a disease-ridden
bastard son of an inbred whore,
and her festering brainless brother-in-law!
And you want to know why I married you?
It was because I was drunk.
Drunk!
Isn't that right, Puck?
Whatever you say, my king.
I don't know how you can say that!
It's easy. I just move my mouth around.
How you can live with yourself?
It's a damn sight easier than living with you!
You can be so hurtful.
Yes, I can.
And I can say whatever I want
because I'm the bloody king!
Right, that's it. I've had enough.
It's over. This marriage is
over!
O, O, Oberon,
happy are we few.
Dark men whose days shall end,
- singing praise to you! - Kai!
Kai, look - we gotta get you outta here.
I appreciate the gesture, Stanley,
but it is not necessary.
What, you want to be a tree?!
I do not want to be a tree -
I am a tree.
Dark men whose days shall end,
singing praise to you!
O, O, Oberon, fa la la la la.
- Kai, we have to go. - Praise unto the forest king,
- I understand that, Xev. - and Titania!
- I will remain here. - Titania!
- We won't leave you. - Come on, Kai,
snap out of it.
He doesn't want to leave, he's quite happy.
Aren't you, Dark Man?
Yes - very happy!
As will you all be.
You have my word.
O, O, Oberon,
- tra la la la la. - There's no escape.
Good old Oberon,
proud Titania!
O, O, Oberon,
dancing in the fields.
Tra la la la la la la -
Oh, there there, don't cry.
You made her cry, you big bully!
Look at what state she's in.
She's no longer my wife -
and you must learn to respect me,
as she never did.
Stop blubbering, woman!
I miss the good times.
Good times? What good times, there were none!
There were some - weren't there?
Were there?
Perhaps, one or two -
but that was a very long time ago,
and we must look forward, not back.
And besides - you're my bride now.
Why?
It is the way it is,
as it has been since before time began.
Many moons ago, I was king
of more than just the forest - the planet was mine.
The bond between the human world
and the fairy world was strong.
The Druids populated this land,
and they held me in high esteem.
Oberon worship wasn't annual,
it was hourly, it was constant.
They were my subjects -
I was their king.
My followers have been reduced from being
the proud leaders of strong nations,
to - the smelly kid at school
with the bad hair cut.
Each feast gets worse and worse - look is it now.
They pay to get in,
and use it as an excuse to meet
other losers and drink cheap mead.
Well, it's not even proper mead.
They just mix twelve crates of lager
with a drum of golden syrup.
I dread to think where the next feast will transpire,
if it transpires at all.
I'm a good man.
I humbly
request your hand in marriage...
- in marriage. - Nice sob story pal,
but I yet, I don't see anybody here crying into their hankies.
Come on Xev, let's get outta here.
Now, what is it like,
to be a queen?
Come -
I shall show thee.
What's that?
That is our castle, and below it,
our kingdom.
It's all so beautiful,
so -
- magic. - If you marry me,
you will rule by my side
for 1500 years,
and then live on for eternity
as a beautiful flower
in my kingdom.
You've enchanted me, my king -
but I detect a sorrow.
Do you not love me?
Of course I do. You're beautiful -
and you have large breasts.
I want to do
naughty things with you.
Well - then you'll have to catch me.
Young love.
Takes you back, hmm?
Hmm - no, not really.
Don't be such a man!
This is crazy. How can she marry that guy,
- she can't marry that guy. - Why not?
Well, because it's, it's -
it's - it's just wrong!
Look - to be honest with you, I agree.
I mean - she's not exactly his type.
What, are you kidding?
I mean, look at her, how can she not be somebody's type.
I mean, if she's not his type, who is?
But - I thought he said he married her because he was drunk.
Those wretched Romans used to say that in drink,
there was truth.
You mean he's the kinda guy
that likes other guys, he's, he's -
Let's just say he's king of all the fairies
and leave it at that, hmm?
- Him? - Uh huh.
Are you a real king?
Yes.
Then conquer me!
What will happen to this place when your planet is destroyed?
Even I do not have the power
to destroy a planet.
Some do.
And it will happen -
soon.
Will it affect this place?
I do not know.
Perhaps this will be my last marriage,
the one that will last for eternity.
I will marry you.
You will?
Yes -
but I have conditions.
What are these?
You have to free Kai and Stan.
I see. Is that all?
No. You have to be nice to Titania.
I have to be nice
to no-one.
Then you don't get to marry me.
Then I will not marry you.
A bride with no respect!
That hairy beast deserves everything she gets.
You know nothing of it.
You know nothing of the centuries
of hell that I've had to endure.
As for your precious friends,
I shall not release them or you,
because I don't bloody have to.
- Because you're the king? - Yes,
because I'm the bloody king!
Yes my king, but the sands run quickly
through the hourglass - perhaps you should reconsider.
Without a queen, you will no longer be a king -
you have to marry somebody tonight,
be it Xev, or Titania again.
No Puck, I don't.
I can marry whoever I like -
be it her, her -
- or him. - What?
Lucky you!
- What, he's letting us go? - You are being
offered the opportunity of a lifetime,
Red Fool, the chance
to be a real legitimate
- fairy queen. - Queen?! No no, see, see - no,
I don't want to be the queen, OK?
I'm...I'm happy being the Red Fool.
Kai. Kai please,
we must return to the Lexx.
We're all we have, and we at least have some sort of life there.
Kai, Kai, Kai we must,
get away from here.
If we don't we will be stuck,
for a thousand years.
Xev, Xev of B3K,
join us in our song.
After all a thousand years,
isn't very long!
You should join in.
Thanks, but I don't wanna be a tree.
Neither does he, he's just being manipulated.
Well,
we're all being manipulated Xev -
the trick, is to make it work for you.
I will not be a tree.
Neither will Kai, and Stanley Tweedle
is not gonna marry that man.
Who's gonna stop him?
- Me. - I can't allow that.
Praise unto the forest king, and Titania!
O, O, Oberon,
all the bells will ring.
Stanley Tweedle shall be wed,
- to the forest king! - Stanley Tweedle shall be wed,
- to the forest king! - O, O, Oberon,
all the bells will ring.
Stanley Tweedle shall be wed,
to the forest king!
Welcome to my paradise, Stanley.
Wow, this - it's beautiful!
I know.
What's that?
That is our castle,
and below it, our kingdom.
Oh, it's, it's - it's magic!
If you marry me, you will rule by my side
for 1500 years
and then live on for an eternity
as a beautiful flower in my kingdom.
Well I, I can't say that all this doesn't look tempting.
Good.
It will be a blissful marriage.
Blissful - whoa! You're not saying
that there's gonna be any naughty business in this marriage, are ya?
Oh yes. Lots and lots
of wonderfully naughty business.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, fairy king!
What is it, my love?
Well you see, it's just that this may be just
a little bit more than I might wanna get into, you see.
You know, your flowers, your castle,
your kingdom, all that, that's just fine
you see, but, ah, the kissing,
the naughty business -
that's just not me.
You see. Stanley H Tweedle
goes in the front door, or he does not go to the party,
- you know what I mean? - Oh, well,
that's OK for you,
but my portal of preference sometimes is -
the back door.
So you don't want my ring on your finger?
Hmm - no.
- So be it. - Yeah?
- That's the way it is. - OK, well,
glad to see you're taking it so well.
That's absolutely fine.
OK then,
glad to see you're taking it like a good sport -
you're a pretty good dancer too. Yeah...
Hey, where's Xev?
Ah, well, you see -
I'm right here.
Where'd that king guy go?
He went - away.
Oh. Yeah?
So, er - you're not getting married, huh?
Yes - but not to the king.
To who? To Kai, he's a tree.
Not to Kai -
to you -
if you'll have me.
Yeah yeah, right, huh.
I know it's a bit sudden Stan,
but maybe this is our only chance
to live on forever
together.
Give me your hand
- in marriage. - How come,
after more than four thousand years
of you turning me down -
every single time -
you suddenly want to marry me?
I know!
- It is nonsense. - Yeah.
It's completely crazy.
- It's crazy. - Yeah.
- Or maybe it's completely sane, but -
I also think it's our only hope to get out of here.
Marry me - tonight.
Just a question before I say yes -
is there gonna be any sex in this marriage?
Absolutely.
Lots of hot and naughty newlywed
sex, I promise.
Oh yeah. Well, OK then.
So, you're really sure about this?
- Absolutely. - The newlywed sex?
Uh, yes.
- All you want. - All I want.
Hmm - it's a lot.
Er - OK then.
Let's do it.
What's he doing with that Red Fool?
Marrying it.
Over my dead body!
Puck!
Come my queen.
Let us go and get some fresh air.
- I don't want to go! - I leave these lovebirds
to their musing.
I should go and get myself ready -
for our wedding.
Don't be long!
I won't.
Don't cry!
Oh, what has he done to you poor, poor things!
You are not happy. Join our chorus -
- it will make you happy! - Yes -
sing our joyous song with us!
I wish I could, but I can't.
I'm a past queen.
My future is set.
What is your future?
I will become a flower
in Oberon's meadow.
Oh! That is
so romantic!
But I don't want to be a flower.
I want to be -
a woman.
Well then you must do something.
Yes. Kai is right.
You must do something.
Oh, you're right.
I must do something -
and I will.
No-one knows Oberon's devious little mind like his
Titania.
Why can't I just wear my own hat?
It's an ancient tradition, darling -
and I must say, it suits you.
Yeah.
Hey hey hey!
I warned you about that.
My hand slipped -
again!
- How do you feel? - Well,
I feel kinda - I don't know -
pretty?
Are you comfortable walking in high heels?
- I'm proud to say no. - You should practice.
Hey!
What have you done to us?
Kai? Is that you?
- Yes. - You said you'd help if you could.
I need you both to act as Stan.
The dead do not act.
If the dead want to get out of here,
the dead are going to have to learn.
You'll be fine,
but just remember -
don't act it, be it.
Be it.
Well done.
Let's go - we haven't got much time.
Have you got brothers?
What - huh?!
That's me! Stan, it's us.
- Who? - Xev and Kai.
Oh, no no no. No, Xev is outside
getting ready, because she wants to marry me.
That is not Xev, that is Oberon.
Well, she looks a lot more like Xev than any of you.
But it is not Xev.
This is Xev.
Oh yeah?
Well how am I supposed to believe
that...that you're the real Xev?
Ask me to marry you.
OK -
will you marry me?
Absolutely not.
I never have and I never will feel that way about you,
not if you were the last man in the two universes.
Yeah, well, that certainly sounds a lot like Xev.
Yeah well trust me Stan, or you'll marry Oberon
and you'll be stuck here forever.
Don't listen to them Stan, this -
this is Oberon,
trying to trick you out of the marriage with Xev.
Trust only your instincts, Stan.
Puck!
Stanley,
do not trust your instincts.
Yeah Stan, that's a bad idea.
OK, look, just, just, just wait a second, OK?
Look, I just gotta think for a second, OK.
Now you see, on the one hand
I could have some red hot sex
with Xev for a while,
or on the other hand, I could have
an eternity
of naughty sex,
with a big ugly guy.
Ooo - think Stan the man's starting to have
a certain level of discomfort here.
What is this?
I demand to know what this is.
Who is my Puck?
I am, your majesty.
No - I am, my king.
I believe that I am, my king.
Who is doing this?
Titania, is that you?
Who's in whose body?
No no no, this is not fair.
I demand the real Stanley
take a step forward.
No!
We are running out of time.
Such treachery,
such deceit!
All right -
if that's how it is to be,
I accept your challenge.
The one who did not step forward must be Puck.
At last!
I do not want to marry Puck,
because I am king
and he is a mere fairy.
I do not want to marry the Dead One
or the Dark Man either.
I would like to marry Stanley,
but I do not know which of these three bodies he inhabits.
The most important thing
is that I do not marry
Titania again.
So -
I will choose at random from one of these three,
who must be Stanley, Xev and Kai.
You.
Wait a minute -
I've missed something.
You think I'm a fool, do you?
Titania,
I know you.
Knowing that you are the last person I would want,
you've disguised your own form,
taken someone else's shape and put poor Stanley in yours.
Ha! You can't fool me,
bearded wench!
Um, my king -
Silence! Do not try to alter my decision.
Goodbye, Titania.
It's been a miserable 1500 years
for both of us.
For you, there's a flower in my meadow perhaps -
or more likely,
a mushroom on my dung heap
with your name on it.
For me,
the moment has finally come
to be joined in blissful matrimony
with a new soul.
No.
No!
And this time,
it's forever.
All's well that ends well.
Oh - good mead this year.
Oh my god, look at the time -
we've got to get out of here before
Battersea Council charge us for a second day.
OK, everybody out, out.
Well don't dawdle, hurry up,
yes, goodbye, see you next year.
Come along, come along.
That's got to be
the worst feast of Morgath
I have ever attended -
and I've attended a few stinkers, I can tell you.
Yes, I do have to say it was totally lacking in magic.
Still, you know what that means -
roll on next year.
What the hell is that?
Subtitles: Prosya, Bankolya.
Mikl, Bars (синхронизация и корректировка)